you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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