so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
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Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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