absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
