when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
