Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
