No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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