He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
