i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
