On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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