Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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