i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
