Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
