and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
