we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
