we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
