Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
