my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
