Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
