I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my shit smells like andre
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
