If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
