She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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