Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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