He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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