Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
