Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Farmville is her only friend.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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