After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
