Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
my nose is crying tears of wow.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
