Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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