I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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