What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize