Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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