please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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