I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
