That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
