Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
