I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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