I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize