Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
