In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
