Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
