jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize