I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
