I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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