he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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