Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
