Don't you send me to vm
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
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She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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