once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
