i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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