Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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