I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
