my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize