We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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