epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize