i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i think i have two assholes
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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