Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
