I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
