I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
