do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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