My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
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