I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
