Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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