I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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