she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
