Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize