I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize