Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
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