i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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