Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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