we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
